Thursday, November 3, 2011

What is LOVE?

Recently there seems be a lot going on among the relationships in my life and the lifes of those closest to me. Through the experiences in my own relationship and those of my friends and family it has lead me to ponder about what the definition of love really is and how do you know if what you are experiencing is really and truly love?? Merriam-Webster's online dictionary lists the following as the definitions of love...

Definition of LOVE

1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of affection <give her my love>
2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>
3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love> b (1) : a beloved person : darling —often used as a term of endearment (2) British —used as an informal term of address
4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God
 
But, I wasn't satisfied with this definition because lets face it it's too dictionary/textbook like. and it doesn't really capture in my opinion what LOVE really means and even though it does address the fact that love can be defined in many different ways.. it doesnt do it justice!  So my next step was GOOGLE lol... so I went to google and I googled "what is love" and of course several links came up but I clicked on the first one and I was pleasantly suprised by what it said.. I dont agree with all parts but I feel that whoever wrote this did a good job of encompassing all the definitions of LOVE ...
 
 
What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some Love is friendship set on fire for others maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true.   heart: what is loveLove can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all.   A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds may be. And as God said Love all.
 
Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending love. It's shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual level.  The terms platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matters of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity. But at times the very existence of love is questioned. Some say it is false and meaningless. It says that it never existed, because there have been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships. The history of our world has witnessed many such events. There has been hatred between brothers, parents and children, sibling rivalry and spouses have failed each other. Friends have betrayed each other; the son has killed his parents for the throne, the count is endless. Even the modern generation is also facing with such dilemmas everyday. But love is not responsible for that. It is us, the people, who have forgotten the meaning of love and have undertaken such gruesome apathy.

In the past the study of philosophy and religion has done many speculations on the phenomenon of love. But love has always ruled, in music, poetry, paintings, sculptor and literature. Psychology has also done lot of dissection to the essence of love, just like what biology, anthropology and neuroscience has also done to it. 
Psychology portrays love as a cognitive phenomenon with a social cause. It is said to have three components in the book of psychology: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Also, in an ancient proverb love is defined as a high form of tolerance. And this view has been accepted and advocated by both philosophers and scholars.   Love also includes compatibility. But it is more of journey to the unknown when the concept of compatibility comes into picture. Maybe the person whom we see in front of us, may be least compatible than the person who is miles away. We might talk to each other and portray that we love each other, but practically we do not end up into any relationship. Also in compatibility, the key is to think about the long term successful relationship, not a short journey. We need to understand each other and must always remember that nobody is perfect. 

Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others needs. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.

I know that the majority of this blog is not in my own words but I've been thinking about this topic for quite some time and I just thought I would share what I found in the hopes that it may help provide some clarity to others on this topic. Enjoy!