Thursday, November 3, 2011

What is LOVE?

Recently there seems be a lot going on among the relationships in my life and the lifes of those closest to me. Through the experiences in my own relationship and those of my friends and family it has lead me to ponder about what the definition of love really is and how do you know if what you are experiencing is really and truly love?? Merriam-Webster's online dictionary lists the following as the definitions of love...

Definition of LOVE

1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of affection <give her my love>
2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>
3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love> b (1) : a beloved person : darling —often used as a term of endearment (2) British —used as an informal term of address
4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God
 
But, I wasn't satisfied with this definition because lets face it it's too dictionary/textbook like. and it doesn't really capture in my opinion what LOVE really means and even though it does address the fact that love can be defined in many different ways.. it doesnt do it justice!  So my next step was GOOGLE lol... so I went to google and I googled "what is love" and of course several links came up but I clicked on the first one and I was pleasantly suprised by what it said.. I dont agree with all parts but I feel that whoever wrote this did a good job of encompassing all the definitions of LOVE ...
 
 
What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some Love is friendship set on fire for others maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true.   heart: what is loveLove can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all.   A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds may be. And as God said Love all.
 
Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending love. It's shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual level.  The terms platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matters of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity. But at times the very existence of love is questioned. Some say it is false and meaningless. It says that it never existed, because there have been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships. The history of our world has witnessed many such events. There has been hatred between brothers, parents and children, sibling rivalry and spouses have failed each other. Friends have betrayed each other; the son has killed his parents for the throne, the count is endless. Even the modern generation is also facing with such dilemmas everyday. But love is not responsible for that. It is us, the people, who have forgotten the meaning of love and have undertaken such gruesome apathy.

In the past the study of philosophy and religion has done many speculations on the phenomenon of love. But love has always ruled, in music, poetry, paintings, sculptor and literature. Psychology has also done lot of dissection to the essence of love, just like what biology, anthropology and neuroscience has also done to it. 
Psychology portrays love as a cognitive phenomenon with a social cause. It is said to have three components in the book of psychology: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Also, in an ancient proverb love is defined as a high form of tolerance. And this view has been accepted and advocated by both philosophers and scholars.   Love also includes compatibility. But it is more of journey to the unknown when the concept of compatibility comes into picture. Maybe the person whom we see in front of us, may be least compatible than the person who is miles away. We might talk to each other and portray that we love each other, but practically we do not end up into any relationship. Also in compatibility, the key is to think about the long term successful relationship, not a short journey. We need to understand each other and must always remember that nobody is perfect. 

Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others needs. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.

I know that the majority of this blog is not in my own words but I've been thinking about this topic for quite some time and I just thought I would share what I found in the hopes that it may help provide some clarity to others on this topic. Enjoy!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Choices

A week or so ago a good friend of mine posted the following quote as his facebook status and it made me start thinking...

"There's the easy choice....the comfortable choice....then there's the right choice"

As some may know I've been going through a point in my life where I have been having to make some tough decisions and choices about my life.  My question and concern is how do you distinguish between the easy.. the comfortable.. and the right choices?

I've been looking back at past decisions and wondering why I made them... was I trying to take the easy way out? Was it the most comfortable track to run? or did I truly believe at the time that it was the right choice?

The problem is I don't think there is ever any real way to determine what is the right choice you just have to do what feels right to you at that point in your life and hopefully in the end it turns out to be the correct choice.  And if it isnt most of the time there is always a chance to make it right. Just dont be afraid to do what is going to make you happy in life because nothing else matters!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Dream Date...

So for those of you who know me you know that I am slightly obsessed with the show BONES... and the other day I was watching old episodes on netflix and watched the episode when Hodgins and Angela go on their first date and it got me thinking about dates... first dates...dream dates... best dates.... so I thought I'd share mine...

My first official date was in 7th grade and took place at Incredible Ice in Coral Springs.  It was a lot of fun ice skating around the rink with my date and holding hands and it was even better when my best friend Lisa showed up with her sister lmao.  I was an innocent child so the night didn't end with anything more than maybe a hug before I was picked up from the rink.  (Not like most 7th graders these days which is sad...) It was cute and must have been somewhat good since I remember it lol.

As far as my dream date.. I've been asked this many times throughout the years and I never really was sure how to answer but this is what I have come up with at this point and it's only slightly because of the BONES episode I was watching lol.  I like things to be simple they don't need to be extravagant or expensive or completely over done.  I like the idea of keeping things young and bringing me back to one of my favorite things to do as a child. SWINGS!!! As a child and even into my teen years one of my favorite things to do was go to the park and swing on the swing set.  So if I had to say now my dream date would consist of going to a park and walking around and playing on the swings while talking and just enjoying each others company with no distractions and no huge crowds. Just the two of us under the stars playing on the swings like we're kids again!

My best date... this is a hard one because I've been on a lot of fun dates and even a few truly romantic ones.. but I'm going to go with the melting pot with my now husband Mike... we went there to celebrate our first year of dating and it was a great combination of fun and romance.  And the gift he gave me (a promise ring) wasn't half bad either lol...

People put so much pressure on making dates so perfect by spending so much money and making them over the top and I don't feel like that is really necessary.  

This is just something I was thinking about feel free to share your thoughts...

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